Jim:
That catch you made? Pie makes it standing up, facing the plate.
Those "clutch" hits? Bah humbug. Do it again, dirtbag.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Pie v. Edmonds
Pie: Can be used as a pinch runner.
Edmonds: Can sometimes run.
Pie: Covers the entire field.
Edmonds: Covers his face with hideous stubble.
Pie: Seems to enjoy playing the game.
Edmonds: Seems to enjoy clubbing baby seals.
Pie: Has stolen a base in the 21st century.
Edmonds: Has stolen looks at the hot blonde in the bleachers.
Pie: Has never said bad things about his (former) teammates.
Edmonds: Has never said good things about his (current) teammates.
Pie: Can be expected to lay down a bunt in late-inning sitch.
Edmonds: Can't spell bunt.
Pie: Can be expected to struggle and strike out frequently.
Edmonds: Can be expected to hold his lower back in agony after a strikeout and need three days to recover.
Pie: Has a bright future ahead of him if he gets a chance.
Edmonds: Has a long life of biker bars and rehabs ahead of him.
Pie: Could be starting for the Cubs in 2010.
Edmonds: Could be on the dole by 2010.
Pie: Has never taunted Cubs fans.
Edmonds: Has.
Edmonds: Can sometimes run.
Pie: Covers the entire field.
Edmonds: Covers his face with hideous stubble.
Pie: Seems to enjoy playing the game.
Edmonds: Seems to enjoy clubbing baby seals.
Pie: Has stolen a base in the 21st century.
Edmonds: Has stolen looks at the hot blonde in the bleachers.
Pie: Has never said bad things about his (former) teammates.
Edmonds: Has never said good things about his (current) teammates.
Pie: Can be expected to lay down a bunt in late-inning sitch.
Edmonds: Can't spell bunt.
Pie: Can be expected to struggle and strike out frequently.
Edmonds: Can be expected to hold his lower back in agony after a strikeout and need three days to recover.
Pie: Has a bright future ahead of him if he gets a chance.
Edmonds: Has a long life of biker bars and rehabs ahead of him.
Pie: Could be starting for the Cubs in 2010.
Edmonds: Could be on the dole by 2010.
Pie: Has never taunted Cubs fans.
Edmonds: Has.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
What he said
Cut from Bleed Cubbie Blue:
"The 2008 Cubs are already the best team in their division and are winning games without making moves. I'm not going to say anything about Jim Edmonds' supposed bad clubhouse presence or the way he allegedly hotdogs every catch he makes or the fact that he used to be a Cardinal (who cares? He isn't any more); those may be factors in whether you acquire a player, but the bottom line is: Jim Edmonds at this stage of his career is a bad baseball player. The Cubs may be looking to catch "lightning in a bottle" as they did in 1998 when they signed Gary Gaetti. But Gaetti had hit .265/.339/.454 for the Cardinals with 11 HR in 306 AB when St. Louis inexplicably released him on August 14, 1998, and the Cubs actually needed a third baseman at the time. Five days later the Cubs signed him and arguably, without him they wouldn't have won the wild card."
"The 2008 Cubs are already the best team in their division and are winning games without making moves. I'm not going to say anything about Jim Edmonds' supposed bad clubhouse presence or the way he allegedly hotdogs every catch he makes or the fact that he used to be a Cardinal (who cares? He isn't any more); those may be factors in whether you acquire a player, but the bottom line is: Jim Edmonds at this stage of his career is a bad baseball player. The Cubs may be looking to catch "lightning in a bottle" as they did in 1998 when they signed Gary Gaetti. But Gaetti had hit .265/.339/.454 for the Cardinals with 11 HR in 306 AB when St. Louis inexplicably released him on August 14, 1998, and the Cubs actually needed a third baseman at the time. Five days later the Cubs signed him and arguably, without him they wouldn't have won the wild card."
It's been brought to my attention...
...that it's not possible for me to be boycotting when I know so many details of the team's season. It's called a box score, you maroon. Learn from the numbers instead of trusting your obviously faulty "gut feelings." LouPa has gut feelings all the time, and they ain't pretty.
Denying Edmonds is a tool is like claiming the earth is flat. It's worse, actually.
Denying Edmonds is a tool is like claiming the earth is flat. It's worse, actually.
I will physically vomit
Jim Edmonds about to join Cubs
His expected signing will push Pie to Iowa
By Paul Sullivan Tribune reporter
10:17 PM CDT, May 13, 2008
This is like negotiating with terrorists...
I never thought I'd say this....but...what about bringing Jacque Jones back? Can I help you avoid a demoralizing demotion and a fan-lashing and the biggest mistake signing you'll ever make? Can I suggest something horrible to avoid something deadly?
Please, Jim. Please. Don't do it.
His expected signing will push Pie to Iowa
By Paul Sullivan Tribune reporter
10:17 PM CDT, May 13, 2008
This is like negotiating with terrorists...
I never thought I'd say this....but...what about bringing Jacque Jones back? Can I help you avoid a demoralizing demotion and a fan-lashing and the biggest mistake signing you'll ever make? Can I suggest something horrible to avoid something deadly?
Please, Jim. Please. Don't do it.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Dear Jim Hendry,
You and me? We've never met. But authenticity matters amongst Cubs fans. Let me give you my resume:
My grandfater was born in 1916. He fought in World War II. He was a farmer for 30 years and then he mowed lawns for the park district. He has, since he retired in the late 80s, listened to or watched 75% of the games the Cubs have played. He's never seen a Cubs World Series game.
My father was born in 1947. He was drafted into the Army and was a few minutes away from being sent to Vietnam. He's been a carpenter in the Chicago suburbs for 40 years. He works nights at Ace to make ends meet. He has listened to or watched 75% of the games the Cubs have played. He's never seen a Cubs World Series game.
I was born in 1979. I have it easier than these two: I went to college and teach high school in the Chicago suburbs. I was there in 1998 when a bunch of idiot frat boys started a mini-riot in Normal, Illinois when the Cubs survived Brant Brown's Drop only to be swept away like so much dust by a mediocre Braves team. Before this season, I have listened to or watched 75% of the games the Cubs have played. I have never seen a Cubs World Series game.
That said, I'm on a self-imposed boycott of your team. The pathetic performance in last year's NLDS was the final straw. I'm old enough to know better, and now I'm no longer young enough to pretend. Watching a team that should have won lose was too much for me---I can handle teams that should lose losing. I've been there. But that performance--a gutless, heartless, mess of a performance--that was it. I'm through. I'm taking a one-year break. I'm not overpaying for tickets. I'm not paying $30 to park my car. I'm not wearing your clothing, and neither are my kids. I'm not watching your games on television, and I haven't heard Ron Santo's voice in weeks.
Or should I say I was on a one-year break.
If you sign Jim Edmonds. If you make the classic Cubs GM mistake of bringing in an aged, gutless, injury-intoxicated doofus under the guise of bringing in "veteran leadership," well, then me and you and your people? We're through. For good.
And so what, you ask? I have 20 million of you in Chicagoland alone! I can lose 100,000 of you and still sell $850K worth of beer before the games even start. I can lose 1,000,000 of you and still fill the park 81 times a year. Of course you can.
I mean nothing. In the scheme of things, I'm just another walking source of cliches. But I would piss blood for ten years if this team would win it one time. One time. And you seem intent on making the drought last forever by taking someone who can't swing a bat without grimacing and bringing him in to replace a vibrant, talented, young player. To paraphrase Junior Griffey: Do you really think Felix Pie can't make the catches standing up that Edmonds, even in his prime, had to dive for? Do you really think Pie can't sneak above the Mendoza Line playing every other day? Do you really think that Edmonds, who has been a bearded, smug-faced boil on the backsides of Cubdom for the past decade, will be able to withstand the inevitable abuse from fans tired of his Not Even As Good As Lance Johnson mediocrity?
Honestly?
You have the best team this franchise has seen in 40 years. You have a patient group of hitters, despite your attempts to flood the area with guys who'd rather not clog the bases. Despite the fact that you will not demand your manager remove Soriano from the leadoff spot. You have a bullpen that might end up the best in the majors. You have two great starting pitchers, one who is pitching out of his weight-class right now, and two who will be adequate companions to your thundering offense. You have youth on the bench. Just stop it, already. Stop. Breathe. Deal with the fact that you might have to wait a little while. If Edmonds comes back and hits .950 for the Brewers, you'll still have made the right decision.
Please, Jim. I can't take this. It's the straw.
My grandfater was born in 1916. He fought in World War II. He was a farmer for 30 years and then he mowed lawns for the park district. He has, since he retired in the late 80s, listened to or watched 75% of the games the Cubs have played. He's never seen a Cubs World Series game.
My father was born in 1947. He was drafted into the Army and was a few minutes away from being sent to Vietnam. He's been a carpenter in the Chicago suburbs for 40 years. He works nights at Ace to make ends meet. He has listened to or watched 75% of the games the Cubs have played. He's never seen a Cubs World Series game.
I was born in 1979. I have it easier than these two: I went to college and teach high school in the Chicago suburbs. I was there in 1998 when a bunch of idiot frat boys started a mini-riot in Normal, Illinois when the Cubs survived Brant Brown's Drop only to be swept away like so much dust by a mediocre Braves team. Before this season, I have listened to or watched 75% of the games the Cubs have played. I have never seen a Cubs World Series game.
That said, I'm on a self-imposed boycott of your team. The pathetic performance in last year's NLDS was the final straw. I'm old enough to know better, and now I'm no longer young enough to pretend. Watching a team that should have won lose was too much for me---I can handle teams that should lose losing. I've been there. But that performance--a gutless, heartless, mess of a performance--that was it. I'm through. I'm taking a one-year break. I'm not overpaying for tickets. I'm not paying $30 to park my car. I'm not wearing your clothing, and neither are my kids. I'm not watching your games on television, and I haven't heard Ron Santo's voice in weeks.
Or should I say I was on a one-year break.
If you sign Jim Edmonds. If you make the classic Cubs GM mistake of bringing in an aged, gutless, injury-intoxicated doofus under the guise of bringing in "veteran leadership," well, then me and you and your people? We're through. For good.
And so what, you ask? I have 20 million of you in Chicagoland alone! I can lose 100,000 of you and still sell $850K worth of beer before the games even start. I can lose 1,000,000 of you and still fill the park 81 times a year. Of course you can.
I mean nothing. In the scheme of things, I'm just another walking source of cliches. But I would piss blood for ten years if this team would win it one time. One time. And you seem intent on making the drought last forever by taking someone who can't swing a bat without grimacing and bringing him in to replace a vibrant, talented, young player. To paraphrase Junior Griffey: Do you really think Felix Pie can't make the catches standing up that Edmonds, even in his prime, had to dive for? Do you really think Pie can't sneak above the Mendoza Line playing every other day? Do you really think that Edmonds, who has been a bearded, smug-faced boil on the backsides of Cubdom for the past decade, will be able to withstand the inevitable abuse from fans tired of his Not Even As Good As Lance Johnson mediocrity?
Honestly?
You have the best team this franchise has seen in 40 years. You have a patient group of hitters, despite your attempts to flood the area with guys who'd rather not clog the bases. Despite the fact that you will not demand your manager remove Soriano from the leadoff spot. You have a bullpen that might end up the best in the majors. You have two great starting pitchers, one who is pitching out of his weight-class right now, and two who will be adequate companions to your thundering offense. You have youth on the bench. Just stop it, already. Stop. Breathe. Deal with the fact that you might have to wait a little while. If Edmonds comes back and hits .950 for the Brewers, you'll still have made the right decision.
Please, Jim. I can't take this. It's the straw.
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